A Guide to Changing Self-Destructive Behaviors in 2021

A Guide to Changing Self-Destructive Behaviors in 2021

This is something getting very common especially in teenagers.

There can be many reasons which cause them to take this step.

The first thing to find out with respect to this is what really causes them to do this.

It is often due to loss, pain, or other trauma, which often occurs early in the life of a person.

Self-destructive activity occurs in many ways, including non-social, addictive, and compulsive behavior, self-injury, suffering, and irresponsibility.

We all have heard that communication is the key to everything but still many people lack this blessing.

Yes, you heard it right it’s a blessing when you have someone to talk to and share your feelings.

This can also be one of the reasons which lead a person to self-destruction.

Here in this article, we will discuss all the important aspects related to Destructive Behaviors and how you can control them.

In this guide we have:

  • Self-destructive behavior
  • Ego VS superego
  • Signs of self-destruction 
  • How can you stop such behavior?
  • Conclusion

Self Destructive Behavior:

Self-Destructive Behavior

This type of behavior usually occurs potentially harmful towards a person who is involved in the actions of common personality disorders that lasts a long and rigid pattern of thoughts that keep on haunting your mind without your concern.

The word is also used for self-destruction and is either suicidal, habit-forming, or destructive and thus possibly fatal.

It was first studied by Freud and Ferenczi in 1895 where they discover how traumatic experiences of life can affect the development of a human being, especially in children. 

It was observed that children who are born with an unhealthy environment are more likely to adopt this behavior.

He also concluded that this type of behavior is influenced by a person’s ego, superego, and aggression or id.

It depends upon the intensity caused by the influence that will increase the intensity of how destructive behavior that person will adopt.   

Freud also said that aggression is also a part of self-destructive behavior which is influenced by a personal motive.

In addition to this cultural and environmental factors play a significant role in this and social factors are also included in this such as bullying. 

Ego VS Superego:

Ego VS Superego

There is a difference between both of them so don’t get confused here.

Both of them vary based on different human actions and how they react to things.

Ego refers to the realistic and controlling component of the psyche, where superego refers to the last component that corresponds to the vital and moral part.

Freud concluded that the ego maintains the balance among reality and as for the superego it is responsible for both the consequences.

The actions caused by ego and id. The id is the unconscious reservoir of constantly active drives. 

You must be wondering, what’s the use of mentioning something like ego here?

Well, it is a part of a psychological behavior that a person possesses and everything he does, asks, or seeks is based on the id, ego, and superego.

For instance, self-destruction is another aspect of psychological behavior.

Like guilt is the major factor of superego which tends a person to behave that is something more than normal.

As for ego, you can say that how a person looks at himself also leads to arrogance sometimes as in thinking you can do this is an attitude but saying ONLY you can do this is arrogance.

So keep this thing in mind everything we do is related to something. 

Signs of Self-Destruction:

Signs of Self-Destruction

How can you identify if a person is being destructive towards themself?

Well first and the most important thing with respect to this is observation.

If your observation is strong enough to identify things and discriminate between what’s right and wrong and what is normal and what is unusual!

Only, in that case, you can help a person to snap out of it easily.

One more important thing is how you treat people not only the ones you meet or get along with but how you behave with someone you don’t know.

 Remember this can also cause someone to adopt this behavior as you don’t know how a single word affects anyone.

Most of the cases include toxic words that change the person into something which is not a part of them.

In addition to this, let’s look at some of the common signs to identify if a person is being destructive towards themselves,


This is a very common cause or a sign in a person that will lead him towards suicidal thoughts very easily if not recovered as soon as you find out.

This type of state happens by several different things that happen in life and results in this.

This can also happen to yourself if you keep on training your mind that life only gives you nothing but bad!

This belief is the biggest sign of self-destructive mentality and as a matter of fact, nothing is more painful than mental illness. 

There is a cure for physical pain and you can bear it somehow no matter how bad it is but mental illness is a death in itself.

Because a person loses all his senses to think or identify what’s going on around him as he was in a naive state of mind.

Studies show that stress is not due to the fact that many brain chemicals are too much or too few.

Alternatively, there are other potential causes of depression, including deficient brain mood control, developmental instability, chaotic life, drugs, and health issues.

Causes may vary with the period of time but the pain will remain the same.

Avoiding Management: 

Avoiding Management

There can be many reasons when you start avoiding responsibilities.

It is also a part of self-destructive behavior where you tend to avoid opportunity and management.

They have little faith in their abilities, and when approaching a situation or task, try to go the easiest way.

Because self-destructive behavior includes undue exposure to themselves, they continue to neglect or become unstable emotionally.

Confidence also plays an important role in this because when a person is not confident enough he starts avoiding responsibilities or tends to think that it is not up to the standard.

And sometimes it is due to your laziness when you start avoiding such situations where you have to perform some task.

Which will lead them to immense pressure and stress.

Such behavior can make a person unhappy and most likely to be angry all the time or at small things.

This type of behavior will not be entertained by any cooperation as well if you’re a working person.

Not only that but anywhere you tend to avoid responsibility you start losing opportunities which results in blaming yourself which is another self-destructive behavior!

Moreover, you won’t be surprised to know that responsibility is one of the important components of 10 skillsets in a human being.

Compulsive Behavior:

Compulsions are acquired patterns that are normal and natural when paired with anxiety relief.

Genetic and hereditary factors are responsible for OCD. The origin is biological, physiological, and mechanical brain disorders.

Distorted convictions reinforce and retain OCD-related symptoms.

This type of behavior includes repeated actions that a person keeps on doing without the necessity of reward or pleasure.

Repetitive behavior results through repetitive feelings, continuing impulses, distracting visual images, or an unwelcome emotional drive.

Which triggers a person’s everyday life in pain, anxiety, and difficulty. 

Obsessive and repetitive feelings are often: thinking about hurting yourself or someone else.

You can also say they are addictive behaviors that give the urge to a person to keep on doing them again and again.

In terms of self-destructive behavior, addictive behavior includes the consumption of alcohol, smoking, drugs, nicotine, gambling, sexual activity, etc all.

These activities are part of self-mutilation and inward pain. All of these take place just to get relief from anxiety.

Numbness or Hypersensitivity:

Numbness or Hypersensitivity

Emotional numbness is another sign of self-destructive behavior that makes a person a little different from everyone else or you can say act indifferent as they are in that naive state of mind that refers to self-destructive behavior.

Such types of people tend to detach emotionally and avoid others as they are so into themselves which causes them difficulty to interact or open up to someone and talk about their feelings.

They are so into themselves that they don’t realize or care about what’s happening around them which results in schizoid personality disorder.

Schizoid personality disorder is characterized by a history of social isolation.

 An individual with a schizoid disorder often has difficulty expressing emotions and usually does so in a very limited field, particularly when talking with others.

They may start pushing away anyone who tries to involve them which may result in negative feelings of unworthiness.

It’s not really an illness if you talk about emotional detachment but if used for some good purpose it can be helpful but on the other hand, it’s not even a good state of mind that makes a person self-destructive towards themselves.

The Constant Need For Validation:

Who does not want to be validated? Yes, we all want validation at some particular level but the extreme level of this can make a person self-destructive.

Such behavior includes a constant need for attention and approval to satisfy themselves by seeking neediness or recognition of others.

This is also a part of good and bad self-esteem both as it depends on you how you’re seeking it.

This can also happen when you’re insecure about something as self-destructive individuals tend to fill the emptiness by seeking approval from others and often through damaging behaviors.

Such as open sexual development or amusement at a bad joke, harsh and inappropriate.

You can negatively affect your effectiveness if you don’t understand it by seeking the approval of others.

That is because you typically fear to do important stuff for yourself, are afraid to do new things beyond your comfort zone, and are worried about what people may think.

Physical Damage:

Physical Damage

This is an extreme level of self-destruction that people do in terms of satisfaction or due to anger or grief.

Such individuals torture them physically because of different reasons that are part of self-destructive behavior.

Here are a few signs which will help you notice a person who is in the trauma of self-destruction by physical damage,

  • Needle marks
  • Change of skin color due to some chemical 
  • Bruises of self-inflicted injuries
  • Slashes
  • Smells related to unhygienic, poor nutrition, or chemical abuse.

Negative Self-Talk:

This can be the most affecting of all because a person knows himself better than anyone and he is the self-critic, mentor, guide, inspiration on its own.

It all depends on you how you see yourself and how you treat yourself in general.

In terms of self-destructive behavior, this type of initiative can be the most damaging as a person loses all its self-esteem due to self negative talk.

This results in self-destructive behavior as a person start thinking and taking everything negatively and demotivating himself before doing anything.

Such individuals will always remain negative not for others but themselves.

Basically, negative self-talk is an internal conversation with yourself, which can hinder your desire to believe and fulfill your potential.

Any suggestion that reduces your desire to make positive improvements in your lives or your self-confidence.

This can easily result in no self-motivation and empowerment of looking forward.

And the worst of all negative talk can affect you physically and mentally both as your mind responds to positivity and so does it to negativity.

That is why it is important to avoid such behavior and guess what chronic stress can decrease the lifespan and damage the immune system easily.

Self-talk is something that you do during waking hours normally.

People discover that constructive self-talks are an effective tool to improve self-confidence and that negative emotion.

People who can talk about themselves are considered more relaxed, inspired, and efficient.

How Can You Stop Such Behavior?

After knowing everything about self-destructive behavior now the question arises how can you stop it?

Well, it is not that difficult and if you’re really willing to do something then you can do anything easily.

Here are a few things which you must do when going through such a pattern of behavior,

Learn From Your Mistakes:

Nobody is perfect and we all commit mistakes!

But the thing that matters is how you take those mistakes as lessons or the urge to keep on commenting on them or an opportunity to start things in a different way.

Mistakes are not as bad as if a person commits a mistake that means he is learning but then there are always two sides to the coin right!

There are some people who keep on making mistakes because they never learn from it and hurt others by their gestures and actions.

Learn from your mistakes and move on to the next step instead of thinking about what you have done in the past.

Do you know why it is called the PAST? Because that is gone and what’s gone shall never return and what’s done cannot be undone.

You can always start again no matter what. Read about the unavoidable challenges and how to overcome them.

Any time you screw, it’s a great way to better your way of doing things. Failure isn’t evil but new information to enhance the system of your routines.

Find Emotional Support:

Find Emotional Support

As mentioned earlier those who have someone to talk to are truly blessed.

This type of support can help you a lot in terms of anything.

When you have a friend close to you who knows everything about you, keep on checking you whether you are good or not, and never leave you on your own then you can easily snap out of anything very easily.

Communication is the key to anything you can find solutions easily but first, you need to talk about it!

There are people who tend to expect from others without letting them know what is going on in their mind and when they don’t get what they want they get depressed or feel that they are alone.

Well, how can anyone know about it when you never said anything yet expecting the emotional support.

Start From a Slight Change in Yourself:

This can also help a person a lot if he really wants to avoid self-destruction.

Start it with a small change in yourself which you feel is a bad trait about you.

When you work on it with dedication then you will feel the change within no time that will make you happy eventually. 

Practice Self-Esteem:

Practice Self-Esteem

This is the best of all in terms of avoiding self-destruction. A human mind is like water which adopts the shape of a container.

It means your mind will act accordingly to what you feed in it.

Training your mind with positivity is a very effective initiative to do because when you are confident about yourself and the way you are then nobody can ever drag you down.  

By Keeping Good Company:

You all must have heard the famous phrase which says a person is known by the company he keeps!

Keeping a good company where there is no negativity and something that makes you fit in the group of friends just for validation or acceptance can also lead to self-destruction.

Such people are going to inspire you to be a better person, to drive you to meet your milestones, to help you to make the improvements you need, and to promote your success.

Good people are generally productive at work. Studies also concluded that when a person is surrounded by a positive and productive group of people.

Then he is more likely to achieve his goals and feels good being around them.

This will also train your mind in a positive way so that you don’t go towards self-destruction!


Having said that, the guide to change self-destructive behavior came to an end. We hope that we were able to educate you on all the important aspects of self-destruction.

In the end, we would like to conclude that know your worth, believe in yourself, and surround yourself with positivity and never try to fit in!

Just be yourself and let the world accept you for who you are and not the way they want you to be.

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